A marine biologist major that is afraid of scuba diving!

I don't know why I started a blog, but I did, here it is. Whats funny is I actually started this thing in 2006 and only posted one blog that only had one line in it. LOL. Anyway come Jan. 2009 I am going to be really busy with school so I will have to really be on the ball, or as usual, with me, I will be totally off the ball on the floor rolling around in my own misery, wondering what the HELL is going on with my life. ANYWAY.........



So here's the deal. My name is Jennifer and I am going to college to become a Marine Biologist. I signed up for scuba lessons via my college and found out that I am totally freaked out by the thought of drowning. I have had a fear of drowning ever since I was little, when a cousions' friend pushed me in the water and I lost my sense of direction and kept hitting my head on the bottom of the pool. My cousin Davey had to fish, pardon my pun, out of the water, and I have had nightmares ever since of drowning. I never thought that I had this deep seeded fear though, a fear that later on down the road would rinder me imobile. I go to Florida at least every other year on vacation and I have no fear of the ocean or swimming in it. I go swim in a pool and have no problem with that but now I can't scuba. I went through the class, and passed, and even went to Florida to do my checkout dives, but at the second dive I had a panic attack. Me! I have been told that I am so laid back, that if I was any more laid back I would be comotose. It doesn't seem fair that a future Marine Biologst can be scared of scuba! It's not fair! (Yes I am whinning!) It's kinda like a pilot being scared of flying or an ant farmer being scared of ants! It's totally messed up!
So now I am still going to do the advanced class, as my instructor has said he will work with me to help me through this, but I just don't understand what I can do to help myself get over this fear. I've been told by several cracker-jack-box type doctors in my life that I need therapy, pills, meditation, blah blah blah blah. Well maybe they are right. Who knows? Certainly not me at this point.